Prof. Step inside the ropes then, and I'll soon show yer some! (This invitation is hastily declined.) Well, then, go outside quiet, d'jear me? or else you'll do it upside down, like ole John Brown, in 'arf a sec., I can tell yer!
[The Malcontent departs meekly, and reserves any further observations until he is out of hearing.
Melia (to Joe). Lor, I wish now I'd been there to see ye; I do 'ope ye weren't too rough with 'un, though, Joe. What shall we do next?—'ave a turn on the swings, or the swishback circus, or the giddy-go-round—or what? (Joe shakes his head.) Why won't ye, Joe?
Joe (driven to candour). Why?—'cause it 'ud be throwin' away money, seein' I've got 'em all goin' on inside o' me at once as 'tis, if ye want to know! I feel a deal more like settin' down quiet a bit, I do, if I cud find a place.
Melia (with an inspiration). Then let's go and 'ave our likenesses took!
[She cannot understand why Joe should be so needlessly incensed at so innocent and opportune a suggestion.
THE "BEST EVIDENCE"—HOW NOT TO GET IT.
Have been summoned to attend as a Witness in the trial of the six roughs who first drugged and then savagely ill-treated a foolishly convivial citizen in Whitechapel. Don't know if it was wise of me to tell the Police that I could identify the men. Since my evidence before the Magistrate came out, I have had thirty-seven threatening letters, my front windows have been broken several times over, and a valuable dog poisoned. Still, evidently a patriotic duty to "assist the course of Justice;" and no doubt I shall be compensated.
So this is the "Central Criminal Court," is it? Should hardly have believed it possible. Outside mean and dirty.