Q. Then why do you object to the Author's work?
A. Because I know if I were Shakspeare or any of his colleagues, my writings would be entirely unfit for representation.
Q. Have you ever entered a Theatre?
A. Certainly not; and never shall.
Q. Have you visited a Music-Hall?
A. Emphatically no, and don't want to.
Q. Then why do you complain of them?
A. Because my imagination pictures them as indescribably horrible.
Q. How comes it that knowing so little, you have been sent to adjudicate upon so much?
A. Because I was elected by the know-nothings of the district I have the honour to represent.