| Children came, money went, all U
P, I thought, when promotion brought more pay (What luck!); but that slippery Rupee Decreased more visibly from that day. | Cramming! Schooling! Bills by
every post! But now, as Colonel, I think I see My way; but I count without my host. Vanished, like a ghost, has the Rupee! |
By this I do not mean the Barmaid who presides over the stale buns at our Railway Refreshment-room; I refer to the prettiest girl at the Military Station where I was quartered.
PREMIER AND PHYSICIAN.
(Imaginary Report of an utterly impossible Interview.)
So you got through your labours at Oxford, my dear friend, without feeling any ill effects?—Certainly, never enjoyed myself more. Everyone paid the deepest attention. One Don actually used an ear-trumpet.
Well, and what do you intend doing next?—Oh, lots of things. You see my Parliamentary work is next to nothing—not a moment more than ten hours a-day. So I must do something with my spare time.
Certainly, I have no objection. But I should like to hear your programme.—I have only got it into form for a week or so. Before the end of the year I shall have it ship-shape. But say for November. Shall we say November?
Certainly. What do you propose doing in November?—Well, I think I shall retranslate the works of HOMER, and write an exhaustive article in the Encylopædia Britannica (new edition) on the “Life of WELLINGTON.”
And that is all? Well, and a fair amount, too!—All! What nonsense! Why, that will take me less than no time. Then I think I shall ascend Mont Blanc, so as to be able to see how the summit looks in winter. Then I shall translate the Waverley Novels into Swedish.