For even the Spa's a bit samesome for six times a week when it's 'ot;
Though they do go it pooty permiskus with pickter-shows, concerts, and such;
Yus, I must say they ladles it out fair and free, for a sixpenny touch.
But even yer Fancy Dress Balls, and yer lectures by ANNIE BESANT,
All about Hastral Bodies and Hether, seems not always quite wot yer want
To wile away time arter dinner. So thanks to that gent—six-foot-four!—
Who fair cuts the record as Droring-Room M.C.—of course hammytoor.
Then we've conjurors, worblers, phrenologists! One 'ad a go at my chump.
'E touzled my 'air up tremenjus, and said I'd no hend of a bump
Of somethink he called "Happrybativeness." Feller meant well, I suppose,