They so soused, and so slapped, and so squirted me. Messing a feller about
Don't come nicer for calling it massage. But there, it's O.K. I've no doubt.
They squat you upon a low shelf, with a sort of a water-can "rose"
At the nape of yer neck, while a feller in front squirts yer down with a 'ose.
He slaps you as though you wos batter, he kneads you as if you wos dough,
And gives yer wot for on the spine, till you git in a doose of a glow.
Then you're popped in a big iron cage, where the 'ose plays upon you like fun;
A lawn, or a house a-fire, CHARLIE, could not be more thoroughly done.
Sez I, "I'm insured, dontcher know, mate; so don't waste the water, d'ye 'ear?"
But he didn't appear to arf twig. He seemed jest a bit thick in the clear.