Cookson Gaze, Q.C. Because MARIA votes Eastbourne vulgar, and the girls (sorry now I sent them to that finishing-school at Clapham) laugh so consumedly whenever I open my mouth to address a native if we go to Trouville or Dinard.
C. Jumper. Because the Governor thinks three days in the year enough for anybody.
Eastend Dr. Because that fiver will just give little SALLY the breath of sea-air she wants, and she'll never make a good cure unless she has it.
Reg. Rake. Because wife says she shall certainly accompany me.
Barmaid. Because I've just been ill for a fortnight from overwork, and the Company say they can't give any more leave.
Eastend Clergyman (of any church.) Because there are hundreds who want it more than I do, and I must help them to get a change first.
Major Hornblower. Because MACCRACSHOTT (the only man who has asked me) was in the smoking-room the night I was fool enough to tell that Snipe and Rhinoceros Story of PEYTON's in the first person.
Quiverful. Because there's another pair.
EPITAPH ON AN OLD CRICKETER'S TOMBSTONE.—"Out at 70."