Often we err in the use of each particle,
Seldom observe where our adverbs belong,
Wholly misplace the indefinite article,
In our subjunctives go hopelessly wrong!
What can we do? Will the Daily News qualify
As an instructor in matters like these?
How can we quickest successfully mollify
Those whom our errors must sadly displease?
Scarce can we venture the veriest platitude,
May not its grammar be shamefully weak?