Business done.—None. But we had a cheerful row.
"Waiting to Spring."
Thursday.—Some excellent speaking to-night, and a walking-match, in which, lap after lap, Government won. Wallace led off with speech sparkling with point; the more effective by contrast with stolid manner. House crowded and applausive; always grateful to have something fresh; get it from Wallace, both in manner and matter. Prince Arthur, following later, unusually bitter; pegged away at Bill and Government for half an hour, and sat down with assertion that such a Government was not worth attacking. Mr. G., who had listened to Wallace's home-thrusts with face appreciative of their humour, was unaccountably disturbed by Prince Arthur's commentaries. He sat immediately opposite, waiting to spring; meanwhile, with legs crossed and arms tightly folded, literally holding himself in. On his feet with catapultic force when Prince Arthur, gracefully gathering his skirts, sat down. A Government not worthy of attack. Ho! A Government that had failed to adhere to the main principles of its policy. Ha! But there was another Government which, in 1886, had denounced as dishonest a revision of judicial rents in Ireland, and a few months later had passed Bill revising them. Had Prince Arthur belonged to that Government? If so, how did he uplift this lofty standard of action, than which no Pharisee that ever lived in Judea carried it higher? This and much more Mr. G. declaimed at top of voice, with flashing eyes, and exuberant gestures, cheers and counter cheers filling House. Naturally Joseph followed with some kind words about "my right hon. friend." Squire of Malwood, long silent, could not resist temptation to plunge in. House went off to dinner exhausted by the tornado of bitter, brilliant speech.
Dull enough after dinner, when walking-match began. Performance announced for ten o'clock; began punctually; Mellor acted as starter. Course, round the Division Lobbies and back to seats. Time, by Benson's chronometer, varied from 16 mins. 25 secs. to 18 mins. 3 secs. Programme included eighteen races; numbered Clause 9 to 26 inclusive; betting 5 to 1 on Government to pull through; some uncertainty round first division; talk about plungers in Ministerial team; when made known that majority was 27, it was seen that Government were safe. Interest in subsequent races fell away as Government majority mounted up. For some of the events the Opposition did not appear at starting-post; Government walked over.
"Demmit, Douglas," said Lord Nom Toddy, coming in mopping his brow, after eighth Division, "this is not good enough. Next Thursday I shall send my man down, and let him do the walking round. No use keeping a dog and barking yourself."
Business done.—Clauses 9 to 26 added to Home-Rule Bill.
Friday.—Don't Keir Hardie made bold bid to-day for cheap advertisement. Motion for Address to Queen in congratulation on Royal Marriage. Don't Keir tacked himself on to performance with attempted Amendment on behalf of the poor and needy. Found no probability of anyone seconding his Amendment, which therefore could not be put. Still, served his purpose; suggested visions of portrait of Benefactor of the People (penny plain, twopence coloured) hung in all the cottage homes of England.
"Curious," says the Member for Sark, "how rapidly Don't Keir Hardie has played himself out; perhaps rather notable than curious. House of Commons is the quickest machine ever invented for taking the measure of a man. Has looked at Member for West Ham, measured him, weighed him, and set him aside. When, less than a year ago, he came down, with his brass band and his trumpets tootling, he was Don't Keir Hardie. Now, if I may say so, the boot's on the other leg; it's the House of Commons that Don't Keir for Hardie."
Business Done.—More about Home-Rule Scheme.