PISCATORIAL POLITENESS.
(From a Yorkshire stream.)
Privileged Old Keeper (to Member of Fishing Club, of profuse and ruddy locks, who is just about to try for the Big Trout, a very wary fish). "Keep yer Head doon, Sir, keep yer Head doon!" (Becoming exasperated.) "'Ord bou it, Man, Keep yer head doon! Yer m't as weel come wi' a Torch-leet Procession to tak' a Fish!"
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, June 26.—Hardly knew House to-night. Benches mostly empty; few present seemed to have no fight in them. Little round at outset on Betterment principle. Members roughly and not inaccurately illustrated it by staying outside. "In principle," said Philippe Egalité, "the Terrace is Better meant for this weather than the House." Mr. G. in his place, listening eagerly to speeches by Kimber, Fergusson, and other oratorical charmers. Generally believed that he had gone off to Hatchlands for holiday; nothing for him to do here; Home-Rule debate postponed till Wednesday; Supply, in meantime, might well be left to Minister in charge.
"The fact is, Toby," said Mr. G., when I remarked upon the pleasurable surprise of finding him in his place, "I really did think of making a little holiday, staying away till Wednesday. But when I got up this morning, looked round at green fields and lofty trees, they irresistibly reminded me of benches in House of Commons, and the pillars that support the gallery. Then the sunlit sky is very nice in its way; but do you know anything softer, more translucent or attractive than the light that floods the House of Commons from the glass roof? The more I thought of these things the more restless I grew amid tame attractions of rural life. This morning it might have been said of me, in the words of the poet,
Although my body's down at Hatchlands
My soul has gone aloft——