1. "A Dream of Fair Wages."—A Rondel by Tennyson Keir Hardie Morris Snooks.
[Rejected as a mixture of bad politics with worse poetry.]
2. "Children of Easy Circumstances."—By Ω. Φ.!
[An up-to-date story, with several risky situations in it; the risk, however, has been reduced to a minimum by the gifted Authoress having contracted to indemnify the Publisher and Editor against any legal consequences that may ensue. Printed "without prejudice," and should be read in a similar spirit.]
3. "On the Magnetisation of Mollusca." By Leyden Jarre, F.S.L.
[Rejected because, although an extremely able and interesting paper in itself, it is found by experience that this sort of high-science essay requires high people to write it if it is to have a chance of being read. Nobody under the rank of a Duke should dabble in magazine science. What's the use of calling it a Peery-odical otherwise, eh?]
4.
"Is Madagascar really the Largest Island but Two?" "How I Never Went to Korea." "China as my Great-Uncle said that he once Knew It." "A Muscovite Moujik, by a British Bore."
[Rejected because this kind of "symposium" on topical subjects can be got much better, as the above writers have chiefly got it, from the daily papers. Without some magazine padding of the sort, however, "none is genuine," and the above is not much more hopeless drivel than is usually inserted.]