Yours toutingly,
Law Calf.
Sir,—What is this nonsense about women refusing to obey their husbands? The only way with wives is to be gentle with them, but at the same time perfectly firm. This is my plan, and it answers admirably. My wife the other day declined to surrender the morning paper to me, and told me she would like to be a "New Woman." "Very well," I answered; "then you won't object to my being a New Man too"; and I at once chained her securely to the strongest bed-post in the house, and forbade any food to be brought near her. After four hours of this discipline she came to such senses as Providence has blessed her with, and is now the very loving and obedient consort of
Yours domestically,
Master of his own House.
EARLY TACT.
Aunty Rose. "And how Old do you think I am, Tommy?"
Tommy. "Well—Sixty-three?"
Aunty Rose. "Oh, you Flatterer! Why, I'm past Eighty!"
Tommy. "Ah! I thought you were; but I thought you wouldn't like me to say so, you know."