SWEET SIMPLICITY.
Diffident Man (who does not know to how much of an Ingénue he is talking). "Have you been out long, Miss Grace?"
Miss Grace (consulting her wrist-strap). "Oh, about Three-quarters of an Hour. You see we were asked to come punctually."
Very Near.—The Record has been taking Mr. Hall Caine to task for the baptismal scene in The Manxman, and the novelist has been telling the Record to remember its Rubrics. "Mr. Caine," says the Record, "has been in a hurry." The Record lost a chance, as, evidently expecting a storm of fury, it should have deprecated the author's anger by saying, "Don't be in a hurry-Caine."
"TERRIBLE IN HIS ANGER!"
Mr. J-st-n McC-rthy (reading the speech of the German Emperor to the Mayor of Thorn). "For you know, I can be very disagreeable too!" Ah! and so can I—when I like!