Amandus (gravely). Perhaps not! Though the significance even of these comparatively harmless absurdities is painful. But my dear, Dr. Digemup's researches lead him to the belief that in the latter half of the Nineteenth Century a hideous "Annual Custom" prevailed. In the autumn of the year, it would seem, a sort of Social Edict of Banishment drove all decent and well-to-do citizens from their own happy homes, to make themselves miserable—by way of penance probably—in strange places, fusty, ill-furnished, often unhealthy, and always expensive, far from all the comforts and decencies, the conveniences and charms of their own well-ordered residences.
Amanda. But why did they do this dismal thing?
Amandus. It is not conceivable that they would do it save for compulsion. It is conjectured that some secret religious tribunal or vengeful Social Vehmgericht drove the devoted victims to this dreadful doom. They had to pass weeks, and sometimes months, either in continual travel—as tiring and painful as the penitential pilgrimages of a yet earlier date—or in compulsory incarceration in dismal dungeons or comfortless caravanserais.
Amanda (shivering). Oh dear, how very dreadful!
Amandus. Dreadful, indeed! The leaders, controllers, or "gangers" of these Autumnal Pilgrimages of Pain, were certain mysterious functionaries called, it appears, by the generic name of "Paterfamilias." The Paterfamilias, who appears to correspond somewhat to the ancient idea of a Pilgarlic or Scapegoat, had, though "sore against his will," like the mythical John Gilpin, to lead his family followers in this peripatetic purgatory, suffer its worst horrors himself, and—pay all the expenses!!!
Amanda. Shocking!!! And what did they call this horrid custom?
Amandus. As far as can be ascertained, it seems to have been known as the "Annual Holiday," or "Autumn Outing"!
Transcriber's Note:
Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation are as in the original.