TIPS.
(To a Friendly Adviser.)
When starting off on foreign trips,
I've felt secure if someone gave me
Invaluable hints and tips;
Time, trouble, money, these would save me.
I'm off; you've told me all you know.
Forewarned, forearmed, I start, instructed
How much to spend, and where to go;
Yet free, not like some folks "conducted."
Now I shall face, serene and calm,
Those persons, often rather pressing
For little gifts, with outstretched palm.
To some of them I'll give my blessing.
To others—"service" being paid—
Buona mano, pourboire, trinkgeld;
They fancy Englishmen are made
Of money, made of (so they think) geld.
The garçon, ready with each dish,
His brisk "Voilà, monsieur" replying
To anything that one may wish;
His claim admits of no denying.
The portier, who never rests,
Who speaks six languages together
To clamorous, inquiring guests,
On letters, luggage, trains, boats, weather.