Yes, "Knickers" are the proper dress Wherewith a Cycle's seat to press; Convenient, and—should you be thrown— Making less re-ve-la-ti-on; There's less of danger, aye, and dirt. Attending the divided skirt. I will not say I wholly like To see my Julia on a "bike": I will not say that I should choose To see Corinna don the trews; But yet, if either beauty feel That she is bound to cycle-wheel, (Like to a she-Ixion) then, Since ladies aim to ride like men, 'Tis clear that all experience teaches That it is best to wear knee-breeches, And drop the prejudice that doth dote On the tempestuous petticoat. A skirt that catcheth here and there, And leaves a stretch of stocking bare, Raiments that ruck, and cause thereby The wheels to move confusedly;— All these be awkward follies, sure, Compared with dual garmenture. Knickers and leggings, by-and-by, With their unfeigned simplicity, Will more bewitch us—on a "bike"— Than flowing skirts we now do like!
MAKING THINGS SMOOTH.
Keeper (to Sportsmen, who have just fired all four barrels without touching a feather). "Deary me! uncommon strong on the Wing Birds is, Gentlemen! 'Stonishing amount o' Shot they carries away with 'em to be sure!"
THE "AUTOMATIC" CONSCIENCE.
[A late report of the Automatic Machine Company says that out of every twelve coins placed in the slot two are bad.]
Average "Honest Man" loq.:—
Put a penny in the slot? That is simply tommy-rot! If I want a cigarette, Or some butter scotch, you bet, If I put a penny in, 'Tis a bad one! Bits of tin, Workmen's tickets, discs of zinc, Aught that's rounded and will chink, Chips of copper filed to size, Tokens, counters—all I tries. Takes a lot o' trouble, too, To fake up a reglar "do." So for nix I often get Butter scotch or cigarette. Oh! it is a splendid joke! I should like to see the bloke When he turns 'em out! Oh lor! Twenty per cent. are shams—or more! Honest? Wot? To a machine? You must think me jolly green! The machine can't cop or blow! Automatics do not know. If I pop a "Frenchy" in, Or a lump of brass or tin, Who's to tell that I do not Put a penny in the slot?