"Sergeant, oblige me by recording the following episode in your official notebook: Special Constable XXX has the honour to report that on or about the 15th instant, in the year of grace——"
"Is there much more like this?"
"Don't rob me of my hour of glory. I've had four blank months.... In the year of grace 1914, at the hour of 5.15, post meridian, at the corner of ---- Street, a motor-car contravening, traversing or otherwise infringing His Majesty's Regulations promulgated by the Secretary of State for Home Affairs, pursuant to an Order in Council——"
"What was its number?" demanded the Sergeant crudely.
"LL—8183, Sir. And I have the honour to suspect that it belonged to the Right Hon. David Lloyd George."
The Sergeant, who wears a yellow brassard, reported to the Sub-Inspector (red band), and from there the information will travel upwards and onwards to the Chief Sub-Inspector (light-blue band), the Inspector (dark-blue band), the Commander (white band), and the Chief Staff Officer, who resides in the west wing of New Scotland Yard and probably wears a cocked hat. From there it will cross the Bridge of Sighs to the east wing, occupied by the more ordinary police, and will trickle down in reverse order of precedence to a regular Constable, who will probably call on Mr. Lloyd George with an official blue paper in his hand:—
"Sir,—From information received, it transpires that on or about the 15th instant, in the year of grace 1914, ... head-lights contravening, traversing or otherwise infringing ... and should the offence be repeated.... In the name of our Sovereign Lord the King, Emperor of India, Defender of the Faith."
Lloyd George will humbly submit to the decree, will sign a promissory note of obedience (Moratorium barred), and the incident will close.
Think of the glory of putting all that in motion!
Yes, it was worth while joining the Force.