Yours faithfully,
H. J. Fordyce.
Petherton countered with the following:—
Sir,—In reply to your absurdly worded letter I have lost a parrot, a grey one. I do not know why you should have inferred that the bird at your place belongs to me, unless you had already heard that mine is missing, in which case I should have thought the proper course would have been to return it.
I suppose, however, that to a person of your nature such a simple procedure would have been impossible. The writing of unnecessary, stupid and rather annoying letters seems to be an obsession with you.
I shall be obliged by your giving the bird to the bearer of this note.
Yours truly,
Frederick Petherton.