Master (after the event). "DO YOU KNOW, YOUNG MAN, THAT THIS PAINS ME MUCH MORE THAN IT DOES YOU?"
The Terror. "NO, I DIDN'T KNOW, SIR. BUT IF THAT ASSERTION GENUINELY EXPRESSES YOUR CONSIDERED OPINION I FEEL VERY MUCH BETTER."
There is a serious shortage of margarine and many people have been compelled to fall back on butter.
A gossip writer states that one of the recent additions to the Metropolitan Special constabulary weighs seventeen stone. It is not yet decided whether he will take one beat or two.
There is to be no General Election this year for fear that it might clash with the other War.
Another military absentee having told the Thames Police Court magistrate that he did not know there was a War on, it is expected that the Government will have to announce the fact.