Employer (imagining him to mean a rise in salary). "ANOTHER FIVE POUNDS A WEEK! GOOD LORD!!"
Clerk. "YES SIR. LORD DEVONPORT, SIR."
THE FLOWERLESS FUTURE.
(Notes from a Society newspaper of the coming vegetable epoch.)
PERSONAL PARS.
We regret to learn that Lady Diana Dashweed has returned from Nice suffering from nervous shock. During a battle of vegetables at the recent carnival Lady Diana, while in the act of aiming a tomato at a well-known peer, was struck on the head by a fourteen-pound marrow hurled by some unknown admirer. There is unfortunately a growing tendency at these festivities to use missiles over the regulation weight.
A daring innovation was made by last Wednesday's bride. One has become so accustomed to the orthodox cauliflower bouquet at weddings that it came almost as a shock to see her holding a huge bunch of rich crimson beetroots, tied with old-gold streamers. The effect however was altogether delightful.