Ex-Proprietor of a Cokernut Stall (who has just had his helmet shot off). "WHAT'LL YE 'AVE, FRITZ—NUTS OR A SEEGAR?"
FROM LORD DEVONPORT'S LETTER-BAG.
I.—From Professor Tripewell.
MY LORD,—You will, no doubt, forgive me for drawing your attention to the fact that the rationing system, to which you have lent the credit of your name, will bring us to the end of our food supplies in something considerably less than a month from now. I am far from wishing to be an alarmist, but it is as well that we should face the facts, especially when they are supported by statistics so irrefutable as those which I am willing to produce to you at any moment on receiving your request to do so.
Fortunately it is not yet too late to apply a simple and adequate remedy to this condition of affairs. All you have to do is to issue and enforce an Order in the following terms:—
(1) Every occasion on which food, no matter how small the amount, is eaten shall count as a meal.