THE ADVANTAGE OF A SCIENTIFIC EDUCATION.
Drawing Mistress (to member of class that has been told to draw some object of natural history). "NOW, JAMES, THAT IS NAUGHTY. WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE A NATURAL HISTORY SUBJECT?"
James. "BUT I HAVE. I'VE DRAWN THE RED CORPUSCLES IN THE BLOOD OF A FROG."
A FLEETING DETACHMENT.
Private Albert Snape, A.S.C. (M.T.), stepped off the footboard of X.33, a mediæval Vanguard, and splashed his way round to the driver. "I'm fair sick o' this 'ere Flanders, I am," he complained, expectorating dolorously into the sea of mud; "'spose it 'ull be up to the blinkin' axles before February?" He stirred the mixture with a cautious foot.
"Not 'arf, ole sport," replied the driver, carefully unsticking a cigarette from his underlip. "But yer ought to 'ave bin out larst winter, then yer did 'ave to sit above yerself to keep yer tootsies dry."
"Wot—wuss than this?" exclaimed the disconsolate one.
"Wuss!" was the withering retort. "Wy, when I tells yer that some o' them Naval 'Umming-birds, t'other side o' Popinjay, fitted out an ole Blue 'Ammersmith with a pair o' propellers ... Wuss!" He exhaled scornfully and gave a turn to the lubricator.
"Any chance o' getting down Vermelly way? They say it ain't 'arf bad there." Albert brightened up at the thought.