Letter sent by a soldier's wife to the Army Pay Department:—
"I am sending you my marage sertificate and six children there were seven but won died. You only sent six back her name was fanny and was baptised on a half sheet of paper by the reverend Thomas."
Officer (on leave). "SO YOU'RE STILL ALIVE, PETER?"
Peter. "YES, SIR—AN' I'M GOIN' TO SEE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS, SIR. YOU SEE, SIR, I'VE ALWAYS NOTICED THAT WHEN I LIVE THROUGH THE MONTH OF AUGUST I LIVE OUT THE WHOLE YEAR."