EVIDENCE.
Officer. "NOW, SERGEANT-MAJOR, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THIS MAN WAS DRUNK?"
Sergeant-Major. "SIR, ON THE NIGHT OF THE 25TH, WHEN I MET THE ACCUSED, 'E RAISED 'IS 'AT, ACCOMPANYING THE MOTION WITH THE WORDS, 'GOOD EVENIN', BLUE BEARD!'"
THE LOST LEADER.
The Hillsbury Company of the 2nd Battalion of the Lastshire Volunteers were being inspected for efficiency by a Captain of the Grenadier Guards, who had graciously come down and devoted his Sunday afternoon to this purpose. Forty "A" men had obeyed their country's call and turned up on parade, and among the officers was Alfred Herbert, who was a second-lieutenant of the mature age of fifty. He was enthusiastic, but a slow learner, always confusing himself and his men. Still, he was obviously doing his best, and the men forgave him and did their best to cover up his faults.
"Mr. Herbert," said the inspecting officer sharply, "be good enough to take the company out and move them about for a few minutes."
Herbert's heart began to beat at the double. He had known that this ordeal might come, but he had hoped against hope that, if he made himself small and meek, he would be overlooked. All was in vain; his time had come. "Drill them as a company of two platoons," said the stern Guardsman.
"Yes, Sir," said Herbert. "Shall I—"
"Take them out at once, Sir. We have no time to waste."