Visitor to a country churchyard (seeing elderly gentleman listening hard, presumably to the choir singing in the church). "IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?"
Elderly gentleman (naturalist, listening to the grasshoppers). "AND THE WONDERFUL THING IS THAT THEY DO IT BY RUBBING THEIR LEGS TOGETHER."
"Ex-P.C. and wife will take care of your residence during holidays or other period; p.c. will receive prompt attention."—Sheffield Telegraph.
But what about p.c.'s wife?
"The bride's going-away dress was a silver cigarette case."—Dover Telegraph.
We don't like this new fashion for brides. It is too suggestive of "weeds."
"Ale and beer—Brew your own, 4½ gallons for 1s.; intoxicative; no malt; legal; two trade recipes, 1s."—Cork Examiner.