I replied with light artillery:—
DEAR PETHERTON,—Yours re the late Mrs. EDWARD PLANTAGENET to hand.
Though not a professed archæologist I do know something of the ruin in question, having several times examined it and having heard, perhaps, most, if not all, the various theories concerning it. I have been here a good deal longer than you have, I believe, and cannot think that you know more of the subject than I.
Have you read Wycherley's treatise on the Eleanor Crosses? [I invented this monograph for the purpose of inducing Petherton to reload.] If not, why not? Perhaps you would like to dispute the existence of a castle on the site where the Castle Farm now stands, and where such shameless profiteering is carried on in eggs and butter?
By the way, how is your poultry? I notice that your seizième siècle rooster wants his tail remodelling. Perhaps you are not worrying about new plumage for him till after the War, though it seems like carrying patriotism to absurd lengths.
Yours sincerely,
HENRY J. FORDYCE.
I hope you will allow your letter to be published in The Gazette.
In reply to this Petherton discharged with:—
SIR,—I am not concerned with the castle, which may or may not have existed in Surbury, nor am I interested in your friend's monograph on Eleanor Crosses. Other people besides yourself have the impudence to rush into print on matters of which they are sublimely ignorant.