Who had lived for a week on three half-penny buns.

When a derelict porpoise was cast on the shore

Our village policeman was much to the fore;

He measured the beast from its tip to its tail,

And blandly pronounced it "an undersized whale."

When a small boy was flying his kite on the links

It was promptly impounded by Constable Jinks,

Who astutely remarked that it might have been seen

By the vigilant crew of a Hun submarine.

It is sometimes alleged that great valour he showed