"Well," said the meek voice, "the cost of pulling a communication cord is I still five pounds, and you can have just as good a pull as ever."


ON THE SAFE SIDE.

"Why, what's this, Ben, they're telling me?—

Eighty and going to get a wife!

Gaffer, I thought you'd surely be

A snug old bachelor for life."

"Well, Sur, ye see I allus meant

To take ole Martha some fine day;

But 'wed in haste and then repent'