I have fought against the Turks at Spion Kop;
In a spirit of bravado I've accosted the MIKADO
And familiarly addressed him as "Old Top."
I've been captured by banditti, kissed a squaw in Salt Lake City,
Carved my name upon the tomb of LI HUNG CHANG,
And been overcome by toddy where the turbid Irrawaddy
Winds its way from Cincinnati to Penang.
I have crossed the far-famed ferry from Port Said to Pondicherry;
In a droschky shot the rapids at Hongkong;
I have pounded to a jelly dancing dervishes at Delhi,