Father (bringing son home from party). "WELL, OLD CHAP, WERE THERE PLENTY OF LITTLE GIRLS FOR YOU TO DANCE WITH?"
Son (rather proud of himself). "OH, THESE WERE SOME KIDS ABOUT, BUT I DANCED WITH A GIRL OF SIXTEEN—AND, BY JOVE, SHE LOOKED IT."
FREAKS OF FOOD-CONTROL.
Though Mrs. Midas shows a righteous zeal
In preaching self-control at every meal,
She never in her stately home forgets
To cater freely for her precious pets.
On cheese and soup she feeds her priceless "Pekie"—
Stilton and Cheddar, Bortch and Cocky-leekie;