Nothing is lacking save a bath and lift

To fill my soul's hiatus.

And, should my plea for reasonable perks

(Barely four thousand pounds) be flatly quashed;

Should kind Sir ALF, Commissioner of Works,

Be forced to leave me liftless and half-washed;

Then for these homely needs of which I speak,

Content with my old pittance from the nation,

In Grosvenor Square (or Berkeley) I will seek

Private accommodation.