In soothing accents, sweet as spice,

I offer them my best advice,

Or deftly show them how to plant a

Propulsive pole in oozy Granta,

Observing, "If you only knew it

This is the proper way to do it;"

Till soon each watching Looty's face

Grows full of wonder at my grace,

And daring Subs in frail Rob Roys

Attempt to imitate my poise.