"Forgif, and nefer more I'll pe ze vool I vonce haf peen!

I lôfed my vife—but now I vind I gares for you ze most—

And I'm dired of shmoking dings vat is no pedder as a ghost!"

Zo Nigodeen she dakes him back, begause his vife vas gone,

And now ze bipe he shmokes is nod an immaderial von!

You vonder how I goms to know?—Brebare yourzelves to jomp!—

(Sensationally.) I vas zat yong boor man meinzelf—der Herr Brofessor Bompp!


THE TRAVELLER'S VADE MECUM.

Question. I understand that you are leaving Town. Why?