EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
F.M. PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW.
Fac-Simile of Sketch made by our Special Artist on the Field.
House of Commons, Monday Night, July 4.—Floor of House strewed with crackers to-night, popping off unexpectedly as proceedings advanced. Immediately after Questions, Arthur Balfour brought up to whipping-post. For so clever a young man Arthur has made serious mistake. Gave definite pledge upon certain clause of Coercion Bill, then omitted to fulfil it, and finally, when challenged, wriggled about and endeavoured to show that his remissness of no practical consequence. House doesn't like wriggling. Nobody but Hart-Dyke came to assistance of beleaguered Minister, and he was incontinently put down by Speaker. Halley-Stewart, that child of victory, came in fresh from Spalding. Greeted with thunderous cheers from Opposition who have plucked up spirits wonderfully.
Old Morality, in his oldest and most moral manner, moved to appropriate remaining time of House for Government business. Fire opened upon him from all sides in protest against arrangement. Every man with a Bill wanted day to bring it forward. Chaplin in most magnificent manner joined in protest. Smith having replied in detail seemed that the incident was closed. But in fact was only beginning. Smith had greatly shocked Gladstone by incidentally alluding to Opposition as "entirely unparalleled in annals of Parliament." Gladstone, recalling some scenes between 1880 and 1885, raised his hands appealingly to 'igh 'eaven against the statement. John Morley dashed in with vigorous speech; then Goschen came to front, wringing his hands and working himself up to height of desperation. Gladstone had declared that he and his friends had not been charged with conniving at Obstruction.
"If the charge has not been made," said Goschen, trying to edge himself behind the plump figure of Old Morality, "it shall be made, and I make it."
This brought up Harcourt, who called Goschen "a deserter." This did not add to general amity of proceedings. Opposition cheered; Conservatives howled; then, amid uproar, a voice was heard denouncing the conduct of Members of the Government as "wanting in dignity and decorum." The voice spoke more in sorrow than in anger. There was a tear in every syllable. It was clear that, out of the fulness of a heart crushed with pain at witnessing these unruly proceedings, the mouth spoke. The voice not unfamiliar. All eyes turned to the quarter whence it proceeded. Who could it be that thus added a final reproach to a guilty and trembling Government? Who, in accents trembling with conviction and emotion, convicted it of "lack of decorum and dignity?"
It was Joseph Gillis!
Business done.—Government secured all remaining days of Session.