Shoemaker. Very good, m'Lord. (Aside.) Doosed imperative, but I can't afford to offend him. Though I never expected an old-established high-class firm like ours would have stooped to tout for any of botching G.'s old customers. There's Mr. Joseph Brummagem, now, fancy my having to kneel at his feet, and take his measure! More particular than this one, if anything, and puts him up to half his objections, I believe. Well, well, trade's bad, and we mustn't be too scrupulous, I suppose. Besides, some of G.'s old customers seem drifting back to the old shop we thought was just about shutting up, and that won't do at any price.
Customer (irritably). What are you muttering and murmuring about?
Shoemaker. Murmuring, m'Lord? Oh dear no, m'Lord. Not at all, m'Lord. Quite the contrary. I was only blessing that there G. for spoiling the Trade as he has done. Brought us down from Wellingtons, and even his own smartly cut Oxonians to borough Bluchers and rustic highlows; and now wants to set a new fashion all on a sudden, and make us all take to his confounded badly cut Irish brogues. Yah! Chaps like G. ought to be boycotted—ahem!—I mean Primrose-Leagued out of the profession. Wonder any gentleman can condescend to deal with him. Now, my customers, as your friend Mr. Joseph kindly acknowledged t'other day, are gentlemen to a man, and for cut, style, finish and polish, I will say——
Customer. Oh, yes, no doubt. But the point just at present, my good fellow, is fit. If you miss that you miss all.
Shoemaker (eagerly). Oh, have no fear on that account, m'Lord. Elastic's the word, m'Lord. We've any number of different trees, and our leather is warranted to stretch to any extent. We'll even alter our favourite old-fashionable cut to suit such customers as you!
Customer. Thanks. The fashion is changing a little, I fear. I don't want to leave you, and I won't go back to G.—if I can help it. If his brogue should become the vogue—but there, it's shocking to think of it. Give us a decent fit which we can wear in public without reproach, and we'll stick to you. But how about this boot?
Shoemaker (with effusion). Oh, we'll alter it to any extent, to suit your taste, m'Lord, though it isn't exactly the cut upon which our House has always prided itself. There! It was a bit tight, but now I've eased it you'll be able to wear it with perfect comfort. We can't afford to lose your custom, m'Lord!
