TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
(Meteorological forecast for the Month.)
6th.—Queen's Weather continues. Raspberry crop fails. Strawberries sold by auction in Covent Garden Market, and fetch two guineas each.
13th.—Queen's Weather still continues. All the grass in Hyde Park turns brown, and suddenly disappears. Vegetables generally sell at famine prices. Riot of Dukes attempting to secure a bundle of late asparagus from a fashionable West End greengrocer's, suppressed by the police.
17th.—Queen's Weather as settled as ever. Great drought commences. London Water Companies cut off their supply. Five o'clock tea in Belgravia made from boiled soda-water. Apollinaris supplied in buckets, for washing purposes, at the rate of twenty guineas the dozen pint bottles.
21st.—Queen's Weather showing no signs of departure, fifteen umbrella-manufacturers go through the Bankruptcy Court, and commit suicide. Dust in London becomes intolerable. A Nobleman in Mayfair has Piccadilly watered with BASS'S India Pale Ale.
27th.—Queen's Weather established. The Thames runs dry between Vauxhall and Westminster. The Speaker gives a garden-party in the bed of the river. Café noir, made of ink, served as a refreshment.
31st.—Queen's Weather still continuing, seventeen ginger-beer manufacturers who have become millionnaires are raised to the Peerage. The Lord Mayor goes off his head, and, imagining that he is the Old Pump at Aldgate, is removed, by general consent, to Colney Hatch.