Who got both his eyes blacked and was cut on the nose,
Though "there wasn't the least provocation."
And they cursed and they throttled, they gouged, and they swore,
And they battered and bled, and they tumbled and tore,
And they fetched the police, and they rolled down the stair,
Did these blue-blooded dwellers in merry Mayfair.
Mr. Arthur Cockburn will probably not want to see Mr. Baird in bed again, the penalty being two black eyes (no relation to the two that were lovely), and a cut nose. What's the good of being called Goode if you are going to get your eyes gouged out, and be beaten on the head with a poker, and, in fact worsted all round? But there, if one gentleman is "slightly intoxicated," while another is "undoubtedly drunk," and a third is "slightly mixed," there's no knowing what may happen. Did Goode "keep his hair on" when he got hit on the head with a poker? What a beautiful picture of genuine Mayfair manners it is! The case is still sub (Punch and) judice, and Mr. Justice Punch reserves his decision.
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
Cassell's Cabinet Portrait Gallery. In Number One are met together the Duke and Duchess of Fife, Sarah Bernhardt as Theodora, and the Archbishop of Canterbury, the last very properly looking another way. In Vol. II. there is rather a nice one of Mrs. Stirling and Mary Anderson, but the photographer ought to have been more careful about the little finger of Mary's right hand. In Vol. III., James Payn, reading a manuscript, with his spectacles up on his forehead, is very good. The picture of H.R.H. the Prince, in uniform, is too dark, and his expression is severe. Charming and clever Miss Maud Millett is in Part IV., followed by the Duke of Westminster and Mr. Lewis Morris, the Poet looking so awe-struck, that he must have been taken by surprise, and been "struck like it." Miss Anna Williams leads off No. V., and, to express it musically, she is accompanied by the Duke of Connaught. Sir James Linton appears for the Water-colourists. In Part VI. the face of Mr. Frank Lockwood, Q.C., M.P., is full of light and shade, more light than shade, fortunately, and it is a really good likeness. The Duchess of Leinster looks lovely, and Sig. Piatti uncommonly wise as he guards his 'cello.