A Pavement Pastellist (to a friend). Well, JIM, I dunno what you think, but I call it a shellin' clean chucked away, I do. I come in yere,—hearin' as all the subjicks was done in chorks, same as I do my own—I come in on the chance o' pickin' up a notion or two as might be useful to me in my perfession. But, Lor, they ain't got a ideer among 'em, that they ain't! They ain't took the measure of the popilar taste not by a nundred miles, they 'aven't. Why, I ain't seen a single thing as I'd reckincile it to my conscience to perduce before my public—there ain't 'ardly a droring in the 'ole bloomin' show as I'd be seen settin' down beyind! Put down some of these 'ere Pastellers to do a mouse a nibbling at a candle, or a battle in the Soudang, or a rat snifin' at a smashed hegg, and you'd soon see they was no good! Precious few coppers 'ud fall into their 'ats, I'll go bail! [Exit indignantly, as Scene closes.
EXCELLENT EXAMPLE.
In a recent trial for Breach of Promise, a letter was read from Defendant saying that "he must now get a monkey;" whereupon the "learned Under-Sheriff," as reported in the Daily Telegraph, exclaimed, "A Monkey! What the goodness does he mean?" Now, isn't that better than saying, "What the deuce?" Of course, no doubt the learned Under-Sheriff is suficiently learned to remember the old rhyme—
"There was an old man of Domingo
Who'd a habit of swearing, 'By Jingo!'
But a friend having come
Who suggested 'By Gum!'
He preferred it at once to 'By Jingo!'"
The goodness of the learned Under-Sheriff is worthy of all praise, and of general imitation.