Upon the weather—wet or fine—I could at will discourse,
Or bargain for a bonnet, or a boot-jack, or a horse;
Tell dentists, in three languages, which tooth it is that hurts;
Or chide a laundress for the lack of starch upon my shirts.
I landed full of idioms, which I fondly hoped to air—
But crushing disappointment met my efforts everywhere.
The waiters I in fluent French addressed at each hotel
Would answer me in English, and—confound 'em!—spoke it well.
Those phrases I was furnished with, for Germany or France,
I realised, with bitterness, would never have a chance!