Punchinello, Vol. 1, No. 2

It is as difficult to say when the umbrella came, or where it came from, as
it is to tell where it goes to. Rumor hath it, however, that it came in
(that is, out of the rain) with NOAH. The story (as given us by an
antiquarian relative) says that when the Ark was built the camelopard was
forgotten, and it was found necessary to cut a hole in the roof to
accommodate the animal's neck. This done, SHEM sat upon the roof and held
an umbrella. SHEM thus raised the umbrella. Then our further
question follows, Where did he raise it? Evidently he raised the umbrella
on the Ark. These theories seem to us to be entitled to serious consideration; and
certainly it is a reasonable belief that, as the present suffering from the
high price of clothing is due to the sin of our first parents, so the
umbrella is the curse entailed by royalty, coming in with the First Reign
spoken of in history. The umbrella appears again in ancient time in connection with DANIEL, who,
it is said, carried one into the lions' den. The authority for this is a
historical painting that has fallen into the hands of an itinerant showman.
A curious fact is stated with reference to this picture, namely, that
DANIEL so closely resembled the lions in personal appearance that it was
necessary for the showman to state that "DANIEL might easily be
distinguished from the lions on account of the blue cotton umbrella under
his right arm." For what purpose this umbrella may have been carried we can only surmise. The most probable theory is, that it was to be used there to intimidate the
lions, as it has since been used toward mad bulls and other ferocious
beasts. We have now taken hold pretty firmly of what may be called the handle of
the umbrella. We have learned that, as ADAM raised CAIN, NOAH raised the
umbrella, and DANIEL carried one. We have learned further that the umbrella carried by DANIEL was a blue
cotton umbrella—undoubtedly the most primitive type of the umbrella. It is one of this class that your country friend brings down with him, that
darkeneth the heavens as with a canopy and maketh you ashamed of your
company. It is such an umbrella as this that is to be found or might have
been found, in ancient days, in every old farm-house—one that covered the
whole household when it went to church, occupying as much room when closed
as would the tent of an Arab. We have heard it said that it was the impossibility of two umbrellas of
this nature passing each other on a narrow road which led to the invention
of covered wagons. There is nothing lovely about a blue cotton umbrella, though there may have
been under it at times and seasons. Skeletons of the species, much
faded as to color, much weakened as to whalebone, may still be found here
and there in backwoods settlements, where they are known as "umbrells;"
there are but few perfect specimens in existence. The present style of the umbrella is varied, and sometimes elegant. The
cover is of silk; the ribs are of steel oftener than of bone, and the
handle is wrought into divers quaint and beautiful shapes. The most common
kind is the hooked umbrella. Most people have hooked umbrellas—or,
if this statement be offensive to any one, we will say that most people
have had umbrellas hooked. The chance resemblance of this expression to one
signifying to obstruct illegally that which properly belongs to another,
reminds us to speak of the singular fact that the umbrella is not property.
This is important. It rests on judicial decision, and becomes more
important when we remember that by similar decision the negro is property,
and that, therefore, until emancipation, the umbrella was superior to the
negro. The judicial decision cited will be found reported in Vanity
Fair, liber 3, page 265, and was on this wise: A man being arraigned
for stealing an umbrella, pleaded that it rained at the time, and he had no
umbrella. On these grounds he was discharged, and the judge took the
umbrella. (We may notice here how closely this decision has been followed,
even down to modern times, and touching other matters than umbrellas.) This established the fact that the umbrella was not property that could be
bought, sold, and stolen, but a free gift of the manufacturer to universal
creation. The right of ownership in umbrellas ranked henceforward with our
right to own the American continent, being merely a right by discovery. (TO BE CONTINUED.)

Depressing for Chicago. The Chicago press has given up all hopes of the PRINCE OF WALES since he
has proved his innocence in regard to Lady MORDAUNT. Chicago had begun to
look upon him with mildly patronizing favor, when he was accused of a share
in a really first-class divorce case; but now that his innocence is
established, there is no longer any extenuating circumstance which can
induce Chicago to overlook the infamous crime of his royal birth. Latest from the Isthmus of Suez. Of all men, the followers of MOHAMMED are the most candid; since no matter
of what you accuse them, they always acknowledge the Koran. Right and Left. Because the P.& O. Directors have suspended their EYRE, we are not called
upon to suspend our anger. We decline to believe that he can justify
himself in leaving the Oneida, however blameless he may have been in the
matter of the collision. Because the Oneida was Left it does not follow
that the Bombay was Right.

THE PLAYS AND SHOWS.

Mr. BOUCICAULT might properly be called the author of the elementary Drama. Not because his plays, like elementary lessons in French, are peculiarly aggravating to the well-regulated mind, but because of his fondness for employing one of the elements of nature—fire, water, or golden hair—in the production of the sensation which invariably takes place in the fourth or fifth act of each of his popular dramas. In the Streets of New-York, he made a hit by firing a building at the spectacularly disposed audience. In Formosa, he gave us a boat-race; and in Lost at Sea, now running at WALLACK'S, he has renewed his former fondness for playing with fire. The following condensed version of this play is offered to the readers of PUNCHINELLO, with the assurance that, though it may be a little more coherent than the unabridged edition, it is a faithful picture of the sort of thing that Mr. BOUCICAULT, aided and abetted by Mr. WALLACK, thinks proper to offer to the public.