The romance alluded to may be spoiled if there be great disparity in height. If the lady be very tall and you be very short, (so that you can't afford to ride in an omnibus,) you will be apt to spoil a new hat; and if, on the other hand, the lady be very short and you be very tall, you will probably ruin a spring bonnet and break off the match.
Again, if you should happen to carry an umbrella of the vast blue style—to your own disgust and the amusement of the multitude—and, under such circumstances, you meet a particular lady friend, your best course will be to pass rapidly by, screening yourself from observation as much as possible.
It would also be awkward should the day be windy, and, as you advance with a winning smile to offer an asylum to the stricken dear, the umbrella should blow inside out.
The poet has raised the umbrella still higher by making it the symbol of the marriage tie. He says,
"Just as to a big umbrella
Is the handle when 'tis raining.
So unto a man is woman.
Though, the handle bears the burden,
'Tis the top keeps all the rain off;
Though the top gets all the wetting,
'Tis the handle still supports it.
So the top is good for nothing
If there isn't any handle;
And the case holds vice versa."
All will appreciate the delicate pathos of the simile. Speaking of similes reminds us that there is one on Broadway. An enterprising merchant has for his sign an American eagle carrying an umbrella.
Imagine the American eagle carrying an umbrella! As well imagine JULIUS CæSAR in shooting-jacket and NAPOLEON-boots. The sign was put up in war times, and was, of course, intended as a Sign of the times, squalls being prevalent and umbrellas needed. Now that the squalls are over, let us hope that the umbrella may speedily come down. Just here we close ours.
