The Tea is from the new African Tea Fields, (that is the holds of ships in which it has spoiled, or become musty, or lost its bouquet, and the old chests of the usual dealers,) and is delivered in our ware-rooms for a mere song, so to speak: say the Song of Sixpence (a pound.)
At a small additional outlay, we dye and scour this Tea, or otherwise Renovate it to such an extent that Nature herself would be deceived, at least till she began to sip the decoction from it, when, perhaps, she would conclude not to try any further issues with this Co.
These African Tea Fields (cultivated by Ourselves) are "situated near the Cape of Good Hope." From the recent appreciation of African Interests (and, of course, technology,) you will perceive that in our Name and Scheme is Good Hope indeed, for the Stockholders, if not the tea-drinkers.
Our system of business embraces, in part, the following ingenious and strictly novel features: By means of circulars and extensive advertising we convince the public (an easy task) that, in consequence of Raising the Tea Ourselves, from "Our Own Tea Fields," (and thus saving a great many profits to different absorbents of the people's money,) we can afford it at ruinously low prices, yet the Tea is always A. 1. (which, in familiar language, might be construed as A Wonder especially to the Chinese.) We make a great variety out of the same stock! One may always know the Great A. Co.'s Tea from the circumstance of it's never having either odor or flavor. We find, after ample experience, that the presence of either of these qualities directly injures the sale. Give it plenty of Astringency (an easy knack) and it will be sure to go down in this country. It is our experience (and that of many other Operators of our kind--or upon our kind, if you prefer the phrase,) that people like to be imposed upon, and can always be taken with the Economical hook. If an article (of Tea, for instance) is only "cheap" enough, it may be ever so nasty and unwholesome, and yet it will Sell! Sell? Bless you! you can't produce it fast enough--even from your Own Tea Fields!
We make an article of Coffee (which we have almost decided to call Cuffee) that has as much Color in one pound as the real (an inferior) article has in six! Boarding-house keepers praise it! It goes far, and is actually preferred to Mocha! We sell it for less than the latter could be bought for at wholesale, in Arabia, and yet you will readily believe we make money by it.
A few shares will be sold to you for a mere fraction of their nominal value. Call and see us, at the sign of the GREAT AFRICAN (TEA CO.)
T. T. T. (for the Co.)
OUR CUBAN TELEGRAMS.
We are happy to inform our readers that we have made a special arrangement with the telegraph companies, by which we shall receive the only reliable news from Cuba. The following telegrams from Havana, which were received at this office at a late hour last night, will show how full and accurate our Cuban news will henceforth be: