| SENATE. In spite of the obstinate silence of SUMNER, the Senate has been lively. Its first proceeding was to pass a bill—an interminable and long-drawn bill—ostensibly to enforce the Fifteenth Amendment. But the title is a little joke. As no single person can read this bill and live, and as no person other than a member of the bar of Philadelphia could understand it, if he survived the reading of it, PUNCHINELLO deemed it his duty to have the bill read by relays of strong men. What, is the result? Six of his most valued contributors sleep in the valley. But what are their lives to the welfare of the universe, for which he exists. The bill provides, 1. That any person of a darker color than chrome yellow shall hereafter be entitled to vote to any extent at any election, without reference to age, sex, or previous condition, anything anywhere to the contrary notwithstanding. 2. That any person who says that any such person ought not to vote shall be punishable by fine to the extent of his possessions, and shall be anathema. 3. That any person who shall, with intent to prevent the voting of any such person, strike such person upon the nose, eye, mouth, or other feature, within one mile of any place of voting, within one week of any day of voting, shall be punishable by fine to the extent of twice his possessions, and shall be disentitled to vote forever after. Moreover he shall be anathema. |
4. That any person who shall advise any other person to question the right of any person of the hue hereinbefore specified to vote, or to do any other act whatsoever, shall be punishable by fine to the extent of three times his possessions, and shall be anathema.
5. That all the fines collected under this act shall be expended upon the endowment of "The Society for Securing the Pursuit of Happiness to American Citizens of African Descent." And if any person shall call in question the justice of such a disposition of such fines, he shall be punishable by fine to the extent of four times his possessions, and shall be anathema.
Mr. WILSON objected to anathema. He said nobody in the Senate but SUMNER knew what it meant. Besides, it was borrowed from the syllabus of a degraded superstition. He moved to substitute the simple and intelligible expression, "Hebedam."
The Senate settled their little dispute about who was entitled to a medal for coming first to the defence of the Capital. They decided to give medals to everybody. Mr. CAMERON was satisfied. If the Senate only medalled enough, that was all he asked. There were about five thousand wavering voters in his district, whom he thought he could fix, if he could give them a medal apiece.
Mr. CONKLING said he would like to medal some men. But he did not like such meddlesome men as CAMERON.
Mr. DRAKE moved to deprive anybody in Missouri who differed from him in politics of practicing any profession. He said that many of the citizens of that State were incarnate demons—so much so that when they had an important law case they would rather intrust it to somebody else than himself. Was this right? He asked the Senate to protect him as a native industry.
HOUSE.
Mr. INGERSOLL floated his powerful mind in air-line railroads. He wanted "that air" line from Washington to New York. This 'ere line didn't suit him. He appealed to the House to protect its members from the untold horrors of passing through Philadelphia. He had no doubt that much of the imbecility which he remarked in his colleagues, and possibly some of the imbecility they had remarked in him, were due to this dreadful ordeal. He admitted that good juleps were to be had at he Mint. But juleps had beguiled even SAMSON, and cut his hair off. His colleague, LOGAN, might not be as strong as SAMSON, but he would be as entirely useless and unimpressive an object with his hair off.
Then there was a debate upon the proposition to abolish the mission to Rome.