THE FEROCITY OF FAILURE.

It is not, everybody knows, pleasant to fail; and of all failures, it is the most aggravating to an editor to have the juvenile newspaper of his own begetting expire at an early age. Such has been the melancholy fate of The Hancock (Ky.) Messenger. "Ah!" says the wretched editor in his farewell address, "if I could but write the obituary of several of the miserable skinflints of this town." Such being his passionate emotions, and such the wild bitterness of his revengeful spirit, it is greatly to be wondered at that with rifle, bowie-knife or pistol, he did not rush into the streets of Hancock, and, having run a muck through those thoroughfares, and having slaughtered quite a large number of the "miserable skin-flints," that he did not then retire to his den, there and then to compose the obituaries aforesaid. It must be confessed that this gentleman appears to be more bilious than brave.

SONG OF THE CHICAGO LAWYER.

Divorces, Ho! Divorces!
Ye sorry lords, come one and all!
Afflicted wives, come at my call!
I have a balm for all the smarts
And pains of unrequited hearts;
I have a cure for every ill
That matrimonial feuds instil—
Come ye unto my call! Here, pretty one!
I know your lord refused to buy
That velvet dress, no reason why—
He is a brute! There, do not cry,
I'll drive the tear-drop from your eye,
And you again, fair one, shall be
From such a selfish thraldom free—
Take courage, then—look up! This way, good sir—
Is raging, wild insanity;
Ha! ha! my friend, is that the plea?
Oh, well, we've doctors by the score
Will prove it twenty times, or more,
Or, if it may His Honor please,
Will swear the moon is made of cheese—
Come on, good sir, come on! Good morning, pious friend!
You wish for ministerial aid
To prove the flaws? Be not afraid—
The ministerial conscience leads
Sometimes to proving of misdeeds,
Which less exalted minds would hold
It nobler to have left untold;
But duty, sir, is stern. Divorces, Ho! Divorces!
We'll put them through at Dexter speed,
And, this late day, there is no need
Of flying off to Indiana
In such a helter-skelter manner;
We're going to have a train, you know,
'Twill stop, (with patients passing through,)
Five minutes for divorces.

INTERESTING TO ITINERANT CIRCUS COMPANIES.

You can make your tents waterproof by Pitching them.