And what is this missive which we have received through the post, and which we have since kept locked up in a powder-proof safe?
O ye beloved children of CRISPIN! why send to us these mysterious, manslaughterous and mortal hieroglyphics? Of course you don't mean to kill Mr. P., and even if you did, you couldn't do it, for the great P. is one of the immortals. Neither, if you will but stop to think about it, will you molest poor HI-YAH because he wears a tail and eats dog-cutlets fried in crumb. Before you indulge in the luxury of murder, or even the minor divertisements of mobbing, ducking, hustling, and stoning, why not try the expedient of making it up with the Bosses?
Mr. PUNCHINELLO has thought of visiting North Adams, Lynn, and other shoe-sites, for the purpose of offering the help of his eminently judicial mind in reconciling Employer and Employé; but fearing that he might get his nose (which is a beautiful and dignified protuberance) most shamefully pulled for his pains, he has concluded to keep the peace by keeping out of the scrimmage. But, as there never was a misunderstanding yet which time and common sense could not clear up, Mr. P. contents himself with exhorting the Bosses to be considerate, the Crispinians to be reasonable, and JOHN Chinaman to cut off his tail, whatever natural tears its loss may occasion.
SEE THE POINT?
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EDWIN and ANGELINA took a sail up the lovely Hudson. As they sailed on and on, EDWIN said to his ANGELINA: "Dearest love, don't let your cerulean eyes rest upon West Point." "And why not, darling old tootsicums?" asked ANGELINA. "Because they have colored pupils in them, light of my life," replied EDWIN. |
