Rising Genius.—A boy who displayed a long dangling watch-chain, was asked, “What’s the time of day, Josiah?” The lad drew out his watch very ceremoniously, and after examining it for a while referred to another boy and said, “Is this the figure nine, or the figure seven?” He was told that it was the figure seven, “Well then,” said the genius, “it lacks just about half an inch of eight.”
The French Officer and his Mastiff.—A French officer, more remarkable for his courage and spirit than his wealth, had served the Venetian republic for some years with great valor and fidelity, but had not met with that preferment which he merited. One day he waited on a nobleman whom he had often solicited in vain, but on whose friendship he had still some reliance. The reception he met with was cool and mortifying; the nobleman turned his back upon the necessitous veteran, and left him to find his way through a suit of apartments magnificently furnished. He passed them lost in thought; till casting his eyes on a sumptuous sideboard, where a valuable collection of Venetian glass, polished and formed in the highest degree of perfection, stood on a damask cloth, as a preparation for a splendid entertainment, he took hold of a corner of the linen, and turning to a faithful English mastiff which always accompanied him, said to the animal, in a kind of absence of mind, “Here, my poor old friend, you see how these haughty tyrants indulge themselves, and yet how we are treated.”
The dog looked his master in the face and gave tokens that he understood him. The master walked on, but the mastiff slackened his pace, and laying hold of the damask cloth with his teeth, at one hearty pull brought all the glass on the sideboard in shivers to the ground, thus depriving the insolent noble of his favorite exhibition of splendor.
A rusty shield prayed to the sun and aid, “Oh sun, illumine me with thy ray!” To which the sun replied, “Oh shield, make thyself clean!”
Laconic.—Perhaps our readers are not all aware that the style of speaking called laconic was taken from a practice at Sparta, anciently Laconia. Lycurgus, the lawgiver, exercised the young people in conversation while at their meals. Questions were asked them at the table, to which short and ready answers were required. This was both the amusement and business of old men, and great attention was paid by those who watched over education, both to the expression and manner of these replies. The boys, accustomed to have their answers listened to, corrected and applauded by men for whom they had the greatest esteem, acquired a quickness and propriety in answering, with a manner of speaking, at once graceful, respectful, and determined; while that strict obedience which was required of the young, that watchful eye that was kept over them by the aged, in whose hands all the authority of the laws was placed, produced that modesty in youth, and that reverence for age, for which Sparta became so famous.
A wise Parrot.—There is an Eastern story told of a person who taught his parrot to repeat only the words, “What doubt is there of that?” He carried it to market for sale, fixing the price at one hundred rupees. A Mogul, seeing the parrot, asked him “Are you worth one hundred rupees?” The parrot answered, “What doubt is there of that?” The Mogul was delighted and bought the bird. He soon found out that it was all he could say. Ashamed now of his bargain, he one day exclaimed, “I was a fool to buy this bird.” The parrot replied, “What doubt is there of that?”