“Boy,” said a gentleman to a lad in the West, “boy, is there any game where you live?” “Yes,” said the lad, “there’s a power of turkies, a heap of squirrels, and a right smart sprinkle of deer.”
A retort.—An old miser, owning a farm, found it impossible one day to do his work without assistance and accordingly offered any man food for performing the requisite labor. A half-starved pauper hearing of the terms, accepted them. Before going into the fields in the morning, the farmer invited his help to breakfast; after finishing the meal, the old skin-flint thought it would be saving time if they should place the dinner upon the breakfast-table. This was readily agreed to by the unsatisfied stranger, and dinner was soon despatched. ‘Suppose now,’ said the frugal farmer, ‘we take supper; it will save time and trouble, you know.’ ‘Just as you like,’ said the eager eater, and at it they went. ‘Now we will go to work,’ said the satisfied and delighted employer. ‘Thank you,’ replied the delighted laborer, ‘I never work after supper!’
An Illustration.—There was once a converted Indian, who, being asked if he believed in the Trinity, said he did. He was then asked his reason. He said he would answer in his Indian way. ‘We go down to the river in winter, and we see it covered with snow; we dig through the snow and we come to ice; we chop through the ice and we come to water;—snow is water, ice is water, and water is water,’ said he; ‘therefore the three are one.’
The Scottish Thistle.—The origin of this national badge is thus handed down by tradition:—When the Danes invaded Scotland, it was deemed unwar-like to attack an enemy in the pitch darkness of night, instead of a pitched battle by day; but on one occasion the invaders resolved to avail themselves of this stratagem; and, in order to prevent their tramp from being heard, they marched bare-footed. They had thus neared the Scottish force unobserved, when a Dane unluckily stepped with his naked foot upon a superbly prickled thistle, and instinctively uttered a cry of pain, which discovered the assailants to the Scots, who ran to their arms, and defeated the foe with a terrible slaughter. The thistle was immediately adopted as the insignia of Scotland.
Osceola.—It is stated that the name of Osceola was given to that famous chief by an old lady in a frontier village, who had newly arrived in the country, and had never seen an Indian. On his approach, she broke forth in utter astonishment—“Oh see! oh la! what a funny looking man!”