The captain further inquired what had been Malcolm’s occupation in early life, and how he had acquired so much knowledge of the gourmands and feasts.
“I was cook at Baden Baden,” said Malcolm, “at the B—— House. There I met Count S., who took a fancy to me. I served also at the tables, after that as waiter in the house, and keeping an eye open I was a great help to the Count. He knew everything about the table, kitchen, and the larder, and I remembered what he used to repeat night after night, when a year or two ago I found Dick Humelbergius’s book upon the art of never breakfasting at home and always dining abroad. I found everything recorded there, and that is pretty much the only book I ever read. I can quote Latin, and know where to put it in, but what the —— the meaning of it is, I have no notion.”
“Allow me further to inquire by what process or contrivance you can slide a bolt on the opposite side of the door?”
“I paid $3500 for that information, and don’t propose to part with it.”
“Then advise me what is best for me to do when I find a burglar in my sleeping-room in the night time?”
“Do nothing, sir, unless you are hunting up a graveyard. We never desire to maim or kill, but we can. I should be poorly provided or skilled if I was not ready for such emergencies. As soon as the burglar leaves your room, rise and light the gas, and he will trouble you no more.”
“One other question. Did you rob and then burn the Jenks house?”
“That is not a question to be answered, but I will say that I have a drawing of the house and the location of every piece of furniture in it, which is perfect.”
To this day, only two of the persons who were present at the dinner-party are aware of the history of the two worthies, the Reverend Mr. Malcolm of Oxford and Maguire the butler of Mr. Bernon Burchard.