“As my ideas expanded, my situation gradually became more intolerable. I had no one to whom I could communicate my thoughts. My fellow-slaves were so ignorant and degraded, that I could hardly look at them without pity and disgust. I used to watch them when they assembled to receive their weekly allowance of provisions. Worn out by fatigue, clad in rags, and branded with lashes, they would wait for their respective portions with eager greediness, and then hurry away in a state of tumultuous delight, which was scarcely repressed by the clanking of the overseer’s whip behind them. They had sunk so low that they seemed willing to accept life upon any terms.
“In the midst of my misery I became attached to a young girl named Sabrina. She was a slave upon the adjoining estate, and therefore we seldom had an opportunity of seeing each other except by stealth. I used to leave my master’s house at midnight, when every one was in bed, and go across the plantation to the huts in which Sabrina and her mother lived. But Mr Sexton once awoke during my absence on one of these nocturnal visits, and the whole affair was soon discovered. He flogged me severely, and ordered me to remain at home in future; and the proprietor of the adjoining estate, to whom he made a complaint, caused Sabrina’s hut to be burned to the ground, that it might no longer afford us a place of meeting. I became half-maddened with rage and misery. However, my feelings were unnoticed or disregarded by Mr Sexton, who, like other American planters, did not believe that negroes were susceptible of love or sorrow.
“Mr Sexton had a daughter, who resided in the house with him, and took charge of his domestic affairs. The proprietor of the adjoining estate, whose name was Lusher, loved her, and wished to marry her, but Mr Sexton would not consent to their union, and prohibited all correspondence between them. However, notwithstanding this, they sometimes met in secret, and often wrote to each other. Miss Sexton privately employed me to carry her letters to Mr Lusher, promising that she would satisfy her father respecting my absence should he discover it, and likewise secure me from any risk of suffering punishment on her account. I willingly became a channel of communication between the two lovers, for I hoped by doing so to be able to forward my own views.
“One day I ventured to hint to Miss Sexton that I expected some little reward for my services, and begged her to entreat her father to purchase Sabrina, and bring her upon his estate, that we might get married. She engaged to propose the thing to him, and really did so; but he refused to agree to it, and, at the same time, told her that he suspected she had some private reasons for interceding so strongly in my behalf, and was resolved to discover what they were.
“Shortly after this Miss Sexton desired me to carry a letter to the next estate, and bid me be extremely cautious lest her father should see me going there, but said that if he did, she would find means to shield me from all blame. I took a by-path which led across our plantation, and reached Mr Lusher’s house without interruption; however, he was not at home, and the servants pointed to a small building a little way off, and told me I would find him there.
“On entering it the first object that struck my eyes was poor Sabrina, whom I had not seen for many weeks. She lay upon some planks which were covered with the dry husks of Indian corn, and seemed to be dying. The place had no window in it, and an old negro woman sat beside her, holding a candle, while Mr Lusher and a medical man stood at the foot of the bed. The doctor muttered, ‘She’s been a fine slave—confounded pity to lose her—can’t help it though;’ and then began to whistle and play with his cane. ‘What an unfortunate devil I am!’ exclaimed Mr Lusher, angrily. ‘Hang her for falling sick—what right has a niger to fall sick?—Ods, I believe she was not sound when I bought her—I’ll trounce somebody for that. So you think there’s no chance of her hoeing any more corn?’—‘No, no,’ returned the doctor, laughing; ‘I wouldn’t like to have as little chance of eating my dinner to-day as she has of living two hours.’
“I stood in agony, not daring to express my feelings. I advanced towards Sabrina, and took hold of her arm. She raised her eyes, but it was only that I might see their lustre extinguished, for in a moment or two she fell dead upon her pillow. ‘Ah, she’s given you the slip,’ said the doctor. Mr Lusher cried, ‘Damn her soul to hell—there’s four hundred dollars lost,’ and hurried away, banging the door furiously behind him.
“However, he soon returned; and seeing me gazing on Sabrina, asked what I did there. I said I had a letter for him, and delivered it. ‘Oh,’ cries he, ‘you’re the fellow that wanted that girl for a wife. I wish Mr Sexton had bought her, and then the loss would have fallen on his shoulders. Well, you may take her now, and bury her, or marry her—whichever you like. Begone, I don’t want you.’
“I hurried home, equally afflicted at the death of Sabrina, and enraged by the inhuman insults I had received from her master. When I had come within a little distance of the house, I observed Mr Sexton and his daughter walking towards me. ‘How do you do, Manuel?’ cried he, in that style of derision which he always assumed when infuriated with passion; ‘I hope your walk has been a pleasant one. Be so good as suggest what improvements ought to be made on this estate. Do the crops look well? Slave! baboon! imp of the devil! where have you been?’
“I made no reply, but looked to Miss Sexton. She coloured, and cried, ‘What does the wretch mean by looking at me? You surely do not say that I sent you anywhere.’—‘Answer me,’ vociferated her father, raising his cane. ‘Miss Sexton will inform you,’ returned I. ‘This is beyond my patience!’ exclaimed she. ‘I’ll tell you how it is, father—he has been paying a visit to Sabrina, notwithstanding your orders to the contrary, and wishes to make you believe that I sent him somewhere. Manuel, say instantly if you saw Sabrina this morning.’—‘Yes,’ answered I, ‘I did, but——’ ‘None of your buts, you equivocating villain!’ interrupted my master. Stung with indignation at Miss Sexton’s ingratitude, I cried out, ‘Your daughter sent me with a letter to Mr Lusher.’ ‘What! you give us the lie then?’ replied Mr Sexton, striking me over the head. I returned the blow with my fist, and he fell flat upon the ground.