PUN ALPHABETICAL.
"There was a man hanged this morning; one Vowel." "Well, let us be thankful, it was neither U nor I."
SHAKSPEAREAN COOKERY.
An argument took place in a coffee-house, between two men of taste, as to the best method of dressing a beefsteak. They referred the matter to a comedian, who, having an eye to the shop, said he preferred Shakspeare's recipe to either of theirs, "Shakspeare's recipe!" they both exclaimed. "Aye, Shakspeare's recipe:
'If when 'twere done, 'twere well done, then 'twere well,
It were done quickly.'"
A REPROOF.
Mr. King and Mr. Lewis walking together in Birmingham, a chimney sweeper and his boy passed them. The lad stared at them, exclaiming, "They be players!" "Hush! you dog," says the old sweep, "you don't know what you may come to yourself yet."
A REASONABLE BILL.
An undertaker waited on a gentleman, with the bill for the burial of his wife, amounting to 67l. "That's a vast sum," said the widower, "for laying a silent female horizontally; you must have made some mistake!" "Not in the least," answered the coffin-monger, "handsome hearse—three coaches and six, well-dressed mutes, handsome pall—nobody, your honor, could do it for less." The gentleman rejoined: "It is a large sum, Mr. Crape; but as I am satisfied the poor woman would have given twice as much to bury me, I must not be behind her in an act of kindness; there is a check for the amount."