"Mr. K., have you directed the refusal of our currency by your agents?"
"Yes," was the quiet reply.
"Why is this? It will ruin us!"
"Well, friend L., I supposed thy Bank was about to fail, as thee could not renew a little paper for us this morning."
It is needless to say Mr. L. renewed all the Quaker's paper, and enlarged his line of discount, while the magic wires carried all along the road to every agent the sedative message,
"The W—— Bank is all right. Thee may take its currency."
A ROYAL PHYSICIAN.
Henry VIII. hunting in Windsor Forest, struck down about dinner to the abbey of Reading, where, disguising himself as one of the Royal Guards, he was invited to the abbot's table. A sirloin was set before him, on which he laid to as lustily as any beef-eater. "Well fare thy heart," quoth the abbot, "and here in a cup of sack I remember the health of his grace your master. I would give a hundred pounds that I could feed on beef as heartily as you do. Alas! my poor queasy stomach will scarcely digest the wing of a chicken." The king heartily pledged him, thanked him for his good cheer, and departed undiscovered. Shortly after, the abbot was sent to the Tower, kept a close prisoner, and fed on bread and water, ignorant of the cause, and terrified at his situation. At last, a sirloin of beef was set before him, on which his empty stomach made him feed voraciously. "My lord!" exclaimed the king entering from a private closet, "instantly deposit your hundred pounds, or no going hence. I have been your physician, and here, as I deserve it, I demand my fee."
A SELFISH PUN.
A certain tavern-keeper, who opened an oyster-shop as an appendage to his other establishment, was upbraided by a neighboring oyster-monger, as being ungenerous and selfish; "and why," said he, "would you not have me sell-fish?"